Saturday, July 19, 2014

Perfect Summer Saturday Night

There are so many reasons to love Summer and Summer nights specifically. 
Too many to list really. 
Here is one of my most   f  a  v  o  r  i  t  e   ways to spend a Saturday night in the Summer...

Twinkle lights
Prayer flags 
Candles- lots of them
Glass of wine

Not pictured might just be my laptop and Season 6 of The Gilmore Girls. 
Just maybe. 
I'm still hoping to be Lorelei Gilmore when I grow up...
I'm a little afraid I'm running out of time though. 
Little bit.
Doesn't it sound just lovely ?

Happy Weekend to you !


Wednesday, July 16, 2014

How Summer Is Working For Us... Or Not /// Part 2

So a while back I talked about how we were going to "DO" this Summer, how we were going to make it work with me going
back to work after not working in the Summer for like 100 years now.
You can read that whole post about me goling back to work and stuff here if you want.
Okay, maybe not quite that long, but I have never worked over the Summer since having kids.
Almost 10 years... 100 years... same thing.
I'm going to be honest, this Summer has been a little off... as in just not a typical Summer for us.
Not all bad, I don't mean that... just different and it feels a little "off" for me anyway.
If you want to know the truth, it  has been a little difficult to not be in control of the kid's days and how they are spending them,
or not spending them.

I don't consider myself a controlling, planning, scheduling kinda person at all but this has still been a little hard for me.
There are things I want the kids doing and things I don't want them doing... you know.
And I can have guidelines, give ideas, have things available for them to do... but still.
It's different.
I'm not there all day.
I can't say;  enough of this, more of that, let's try this, let's make something, let's start on this project, etc.

If you're anything like me, you have a picture in your head of how things will go--  the first day of school, vacations, Summer vacation, etc.
I do not want or expect things to be magical or perfect, I'm not that mom, but I have definitely had
to let go of my plans for the Summer and deal with the reality of how it is instead.
And I should add here that it's not all bad, not at all... sometimes I am just dramatic and whiny.
My work days are not long and I am home more than I am not home.
It's been an adjustment though for sure.

This Summer has not really been typical all the way around though.
We have had a lot of rain and unseasonably cool weather(upper 70's all this week? Sat what?!), which means less pool time
which just makes it feel like even less than a  "typical Summer".
It's gotten down into the lower 60's overnight many nights in a row now... it's so weird.
And it's beautiful weather, but feels a little too much like Fall for mid-July.

In the end it will all work out, I know this.
And a lot of it is ME(yes, me) letting go of  how I thought this Summer would be, how I thought it
would look and feel for us.
And sometimes it's really hard to let go of those expectations, huh?
Someone please tell me I am not alone here.
You do thos too sometimes... Right?
Sometimes this Mama is a slooooow learner, but I'll get there.


Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Succulents + Thrifted Cup = Happiness

I bought a set of these little tea cups about 2 years ago at a thrift store(I think) and they have  just been sitting in my
china cabinet waiting to be used. 

I think I finally found the perfect use! 
Don't you ?
So, so cute. 
And a new use for a favorite birdy mug, a terra cotta pot one of the kids painted and a vintage bright blue coffee can.

Sometimes the littlest, simplest things make me so happy. 
Now to fill the rest of my little tea cups and gaze at this little backyard corner... 

Have a happy day. 


Saturday, June 28, 2014

Girls Weekend Away :: St.Louis

Usually, by this time these pictures and this post would be so old and forgotten that I wouldn't even bother posting them at this point...
They are from mid-April and it's..... the end of June after all.

How did that happen anyway?

It's really kinda ridiculous if you ask me.

I've becom the person that can't post pictures or write a quick something about my girl's trip before the almost-two-month mark?


BUT. But. But.
This trip was so much fun.
This little trip away was so, so good for all of us.
Three of us went together and then a fourth friend, who was there for one of her kid's volleyball tournaments, came and stayed with us
for one night. Shopping and eating and drinking and laying around in a hotel room
with no schedule... no plans... no nothing that you have to do... that is an A  W  E  S  O  M  E   thing my friends.

Beautiful wetaher, beautiful city.
I have not laughed that hard in a LONG, LONG time and I am so thankful I am able to get away and that I have the best girlfriends to get away with.

Until next time, St. Louis.
Happy, Happy Saturday + here's to a great weekend!



Tuesday, June 17, 2014

All The Ways I Fail

Yesterday morning got off to a bit of a rough start.
It was Monday first of all, so it already had that going against it...
But I woke up early(too early really) and had time to just lay in bed for quite a while and think and just wake up and be ready for the
day without rushing or oversleeping.
I remember laying there thinking that this was the perfect way to start the day.

But somehow things went from just fine to not,  in no time at all... And I do know that my actions or reactions sometimes perpetuate these things
or at the very least make them worse, you know, and go from not great to really shitty in 0.2 seconds.
That's what happened. It happens.

I heard fighting downstairs and after lots of talking and them pretending to listen yesterday and the day before, I lost it.
There was no screaming but I did yell and lectured and then I was really grouchy and mad.
And then of  course it was time for the kids to leave for Vacation Bible School and for me to go to work and I left feeling like the worst mom
ever, that is obviously doing  E  V  E  R  Y  T  H  I  N  G
wrong or else my kids wouldn't be fighting and I wouldn't be losing my temper and I wouldn't feel like crying on the way to work.
I didn't, because I actually put make-up on and wore a skirt so I wasn't about to cry.
Mostly I was mad.
And stressed.

And then I am mad that I am mad.
I get mad at myself for things that could have been avoided had I given it a few more minutes, been just a little more patient,
been a little more organized and not stressed about
getting out the door late.
Then there are the times that no matter what you do, someone might just be in a grouchy mood, or tired or whatever, and there is absolutely
nothing I can do about that.

But still.
When I have these mornings or days or evenings or weeks, it's really hard not to think of all the ways I am failing.
Because there are so, SO many.
I'm failing in the patience department.
I am failing at the organization thing.
I am failing at the working outside the home thing.
I am failing in the laundry and cooking department and pretty much anything and everything in the house.

I could give you a list a mile long of my shortcomings and sometimes only come up with a couple of things that I am doing right
or even just semi-good.
I think this is normal.
Motherhood can be defeating.
It's hard.
It's a roller coaster.
It's my most important job.
But it's not the only thing I am or the only person I am.
And that can be so overwhelming at times.

Thank goodness that tomorrow is a brand new day.
And we all have another chance.
To do better or do it over or to just another day to give ourselves a little more of a break.


Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Day Trippin' :: Third Sunday Flea Market

Last Sunday I had big, big plans, we finally had a free day at home and I was going to get caught up on laundry, deep clean
the kitchen, organize my office... 
I had a long list. 
It was so overdue, this messy unorganized house of mine is suffering- Which, I have learned,
makes me suffer as well... But that's another post for another day.

ANYWAY,  around noon I realized today was the Third Sunday Market in Bloomington, about 45 minutes away, and all
cleaning plans went quickly out the window. 
It's funny how fast I can find anything better to do than cleaning or what I really need to be doing at home... Anything.

It was so worth the short trip though and the kids and I had a lot of fun!
Sometimes you just have to    G  E  T    A  W  A  Y..... for the day, for the night, for a few hours..
I do. I really, really do.
I need adventure, a change of scenery... no matter how small.
They love hunting and rummaging for treasures just like their Mama so taking them along with me is never a mistake. 

I love how they see things that they know I will love or that I collect and get so excited-- rusty things, chippy paint things,
big numbers and letters.... They know me pretty well.
I also love that they love looking through old things, figuring out what they are, and deciding how they are going to spend their money.

On our drive back home that evening I asked them why they liked going on day trips and adventures and their answers
really made me smile -- 
"Because you always see something new! 
Because we get to go out to eat at different places! 
Because you might see an owl or something you've never seen before(that happened once)"

It didn't hurt that the market had mini donuts and lemon shake-ups.
I mean, that's always a good thing.
Or that we passed a pool on the way to the Market that had a huge, cool water slide- the next day Charlotte started on a
Summer List and visiting that pool wa sone of the first things on there.

It was a good, good day.
I hope that one day my kids remember me for jumping in the car and doing fun, spontaneous things with them....
Not that I was always nice or gave them what they wanted exactly but for going on little
adventures with them and sharing something we all love together.

I really hope so.


What is one of your    f  a  v  o  r  i  t  e     things to do with your kids?
Or yourself?
Or that you can't wait to do with kids one day...?

Monday, June 9, 2014

A New Kinda Summer + How We're Making It Work

So last week I mentioned briefly that this is the first Summer I have worked in years.
Years and years.
Like since before I had kids.

It's an adjustment.... But really, if you ask me, the whole going back to work thing IS an adjustment.
One I have been avoiding for many years, for a multitude of reasons.
Besides the most obvious + important reason(for us) of wantitng to be home when the kids were little, the other just as big reason
was childcare and how to do it/pay for it/figure it out.
I mean... Because really? No thanks.

I started working in March like a real, going to an office and getting there on time and working every day kinda thing.
During the school year I leave as soon as the kids go to school and I get home before they get out of school.
No childcare to worry about at all during the school year.
Thank God.
I am seriously so thankful or that.
But obviously the Summer break is completely different and we do need childcare now.

So this is how we are doing it this Summer...

Two days a week a sitter comes to the house to watch the kids, this is a FIRST for us so I wasn't sure how it would be,  but the kids are
loving her so far.
One day a week the kids will switch off between the two grandparent's houses, so every other week with my parents/his parents.
They go to their houses that day.
One day Eric will be home and on Fridays(Yippeee!) I will be home.
And there's the whole week covered.

This little set up is about perfect for us and pretty much exactly what I was hoping for.
This way the kids don't have to be up super early and ready, getting dropped off somewhere, but then one day they do have
somewhere to go, too.
AND one day every week they get to spend one day with their grandparent's which they wouldn't do otherwise.
Which is   A  W  E  S  O  M  E .

Let me tell you something about going back to work-
I realized that not only did I not want to do it because of the obvious reasons, I wanted to be home with my kids and not feel like
I was missing out everyday and I wanted to be there for them when they needed me...
I also had a lot of fear about going back to work for several other different reasons, and this whole stress over childcare was a huge part of it.
Who will watch the kids, how will we ever find a sitter we like/trust, how will I work part-time and afford childcare....?
It's super stressful.
And yes, the Summer has just begun, but I think this is going to work.

And to ease my guilt(which I totally and completely put on myself), my hours are perfect for us and it still allows so much time to do fun
things with the kids and just be with them.
My hours are 9:00-3:00 and getting off then, and being about five minutes from home, I feel like we still have a lot of time to go do things.
Plus Summer hours and rules are just completely different and relaxed so we do have time to go to the beach or the zoo or go swim
at a friend's house... or whatever, after I get home from work.
And that I LOVE.

I know every one's situation is different and options are different, but I hope that if someone is reading this that has been dreading how
they will do it if/when they start working again, just know that it's normal and I think everyone feels that way.
It's really a huge life change for everyone, this whole going back to work thing(well maybe just for me) but there are a lot of positive aspects
of it too that I was not anticipating.
I am kinda liking the idea of the kids doing different, fun things with a sitter now and getting to hear about them everyday, Charlotte making
a Lego friend girl that looks just like their sitter, and Wyatt
talking music and his favorite songs with her and repeating stories and things she tells them to us later.
It's good.


Happy Monday friends, back to work I go.

A Look Back: